Post by Bigideas on Mar 23, 2010 20:26:54 GMT
Jean was stopped for speeding the other day and it went a bit like this.
Jean: Is there a problem, Officer?
Officer: Ma'am, you were speeding.
Jean: Oh, I see.
Officer: Can I see your license please?
Jean: I'd give it to you but I don't have one.
Officer: Don't have one?
Jean: Lost it 4 times for drunk driving.
Officer: I see... Can I see your vehicle registration papers please.
Jean: I can't do that.
Officer: Why not?
Jean: I stole this car.
Officer: Stole it?
Jean: Yes, and I killed and hacked up the owner.
Officer: You what?
Jean: His body parts are in plastic bags in the boot if you want to see.
The Officer looks at the Jean, slowly backs away to his car, and calls for back up. Within minutes, 5 police cars circle the Jean's Mini. A senior officer slowly approaches Jean, clasping his half drawn gun.
Officer 2: Ma'am, could you step out of your vehicle please!
Jean steps out of her vehicle.
Jean: Is there a problem sir?
Officer 2: One of my officers told me that you have stolen this car and murdered the owner.
Jean: Murdered the owner?
Officer 2: Yes, could you please open the boot of your car, please.
Jean opens the boot, revealing nothing but an empty boot.
Officer 2: Is this your car, ma'am?
Jean: Yes, here are the registration papers.
The first officer is stunned.
Officer 2: One of my officers claims that you do not have a driving license.
Jean then digs into her handbag and pulls out a clutch purse and hands it to the officer. The officer snaps opens the clutch purse and examines the license. He looks quite puzzled.
Officer 2: Thank you ma'am, one of my officers told me you didn't have a license, that you stole this car, and that you murdered and hacked up the owner.
Jean: Oh my God!! And I bet the lying bastard also told you I was speeding! ;D
Jean: Is there a problem, Officer?
Officer: Ma'am, you were speeding.
Jean: Oh, I see.
Officer: Can I see your license please?
Jean: I'd give it to you but I don't have one.
Officer: Don't have one?
Jean: Lost it 4 times for drunk driving.
Officer: I see... Can I see your vehicle registration papers please.
Jean: I can't do that.
Officer: Why not?
Jean: I stole this car.
Officer: Stole it?
Jean: Yes, and I killed and hacked up the owner.
Officer: You what?
Jean: His body parts are in plastic bags in the boot if you want to see.
The Officer looks at the Jean, slowly backs away to his car, and calls for back up. Within minutes, 5 police cars circle the Jean's Mini. A senior officer slowly approaches Jean, clasping his half drawn gun.
Officer 2: Ma'am, could you step out of your vehicle please!
Jean steps out of her vehicle.
Jean: Is there a problem sir?
Officer 2: One of my officers told me that you have stolen this car and murdered the owner.
Jean: Murdered the owner?
Officer 2: Yes, could you please open the boot of your car, please.
Jean opens the boot, revealing nothing but an empty boot.
Officer 2: Is this your car, ma'am?
Jean: Yes, here are the registration papers.
The first officer is stunned.
Officer 2: One of my officers claims that you do not have a driving license.
Jean then digs into her handbag and pulls out a clutch purse and hands it to the officer. The officer snaps opens the clutch purse and examines the license. He looks quite puzzled.
Officer 2: Thank you ma'am, one of my officers told me you didn't have a license, that you stole this car, and that you murdered and hacked up the owner.
Jean: Oh my God!! And I bet the lying bastard also told you I was speeding! ;D